Today’s confession… Hmmmm…..
So after over 2 years, I decided to get out of the home, alone! Go to a mall nearby, get some facial, Mani-pedi, have a quite lunch and relax over a cup of coffee. I used to do it all the time but ever since my baby, I couldn’t take the time out. My hubby said he would take care of kayal. After a lot of hesitation, I simply put on a dress and got out thinking I needed this a lot! So I headed to the Phoenix marketcity mall, Chennai!
OK, right here lemme tell you all one thing! If you want to have a nice and peaceful outing then don’t go to a mall especially on a Sunday! I thought going early would help me to get ahead of the crowd but no. It Seems like the whole of Chennai thought just like me!
Thank God, I got an appointment quickly at the Naturals Salon and spa. That was the only good thing about the day. I got a nice relaxing facial done. By the time I got out of the salon, while mall had become like a zoo. People everywhere- walking, talking, laughing, window shopping, sitting where ever they got a little space! Children running all over the place! I started to feel so claustrophobic!
Even so, I thought I should at least have a quick lunch before I leave. So I headed to the Burger King stall, stood in the queue for like a decade and finally got a burger and a mango milkshake. With the tray in my hands, I was searching for a table to sit at and couldn’t find even a single chair free! Even the chairs that looked empty were pre-booked with purses, hand bags and shopping bags! I had to share a table with a couple and it felt so awkward and lonely that I finished my burger quickly and left from there!
My last and final resort was a cafe. I hoped that not many people would wanna have a coffee at 2:30 in the afternoon. I roamed from Cafe coffee day to Kalmane, Dunkin Doughnuts to Krispy Kreme, but it was all crowded with no empty table! Finally I gave up and by then I started to miss my baby girl so much. So I simply booked a cab and got back home to my kayal!
I know that the reason I wanted to go out for a while was because I was feeling so tired and frustrated at home. The same routine continues day after day! I wanted a break from that routine and I thought I would enjoy some time away from my baby. But the moment I stepped out of my home, I started to miss her. I was getting anxious about her the whole time even though I knew she was safe and sound with her father! She has become my habit! I know that someday I have to let go of her and maybe I will actually be relieved at that moment. But right now, I am not ready!