“Or should I say Hi Lovelies? Maybe Hi Angels? Well Hi chicas may work! Oh,But what if there are guys reading this post? No no. Hi Friends is just fine!”
These are just some of the thoughts going on in my mind when I start to write any post! It is the same deal when I talk to people as well, friends or strangers alike! Going to a wedding, party or even a small get-together is like the worst thing that can happen to me. I try to avoid it as much as possible. When I am not able to avoid it and I’m there, standing amidst all this people, I feel like I’m drowning in a deep deep ocean. Oh, the best part is the panic attack when a complete stranger comes over and starts a conversation! I simply stand there contemplating if I have to keep up with the conversation or simply walk away. There were times when I have felt like I should hide in a closet and never come out of it, ever!
Sometimes I would see people looking at me with so much pity on their faces. “Look at that poor thing sitting all by herself over there! She is so shy and quite. That’s why she has no friends!” At other times I have overheard people say, “Why does she show so much attitude.” “She is so mean and rude.” “Her? Oh she is so arrogant!” And so on. But the fact was, I simply couldn’t take the first step and Approach anyone. For a long time, people around me made me feel like that was a huge crime. I had lost the very little confidence that I had and started to feel like maybe I was abnormal.
But the fact is, i am actually completely different around my family and closest friends. I am so talkitive, naughty, humorous and fun and anyone from this closest circle will laugh if they heard someone say I’m shy or arrogant. Dancing is my passion but I have never been able to get myself to give a solo performance. I also love to paint and indulge myself into creative activities. My idea of a great weekend plan would be to sleep till late, have good food, read a nice book and spend time with my family or one of the 3 friends that I have! My room is my most favourite place on earth. I love to be by myself.
If all that means I am an Introvert then that solves it all, right? I still don’t like to be branded like that but at least now people can understand that I’m not rude or abnormal. According to me, it is just another fancy word for this fancy world.